10 reasons we won't work
by xoredsoxnation21xo
Summary: Miley sees it. Jackson sees it. Even Mr. Stewart sees it. But Lilly can’t seem to get that Olliver is in love with her, and that she just might return the feelings. A loliver story
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Hannah Montana isn't mine (obviously). **

**Underline= crossed out words**

**Chapter 1**

Dear Journal,

They taught us about the first amendment to the constitution in history. Free speech, free religion, free assembly, free petition, free press. For all I'm concerned, the founding fathers must have been drunk or something when they wrote that, because I can't tell everyone to shut up about me and Oken, or Miley pulls out her pocket constitution and quotes the first amendment. Oliver is not, I repeat, is NOT in love with me.

Jeez. Just because we've been friends forever doesn't mean we are gonna grow up and get married or something. I mean, he's like my brother. Ugh!! Miley is driving me insane. She's gotten everyone to start telling me how cute me and Oliver would be together, how she can tell oliver is in love with me. Hello, Miley, he just broke up with Joanie like 2 weeks ago!

You know what? I think I'm gonna start a list. Top 10 reasons why Oliver and I we won't work.

1. My mom

1. We have been fri

1. It won't be

1. We never agree on anything.

Ok, so maybe that was harder than I thought. But whatever, we still wouldn't work together.

Lilly

* * *

"Lily! Wait up!" Miley ran down the hall, catching up with me on the way to lunch. Clearly she didn't get that I was ignoring her.

"What?" I snapped.

"Whoa. No need to bark at me…Wait, are you still mad about me about what I said about you and Oliver?" she realized as I stared straight ahead. "Look, Lily, I'm sorry if I upset you but I'm just stating my opinion. I mean, it all makes sense. Everything works."

I refused to look at her. She was wrapped up in this fantasy of hers, but I wanted nothing to do with it.

"Lily! Seriously, are you just going to ignore me all lunch? We don't have to talk about it…I was just stating the opinion of myself. And everyone else," she added cockily.

"Why do you even care, Miley? It's not like you stand to gain anything from it. Oh, but then again, maybe you'll get in the magazines: 'Hannah Montana's friends: In love? Is Hannah turning into the third wheel?' I can see it now." I replied, knowing that it was mean but not caring anyways.

"Oh ya, Lily. That's definetly the reason I want my two best friends to realize they are perfect for each other. So I can get in the paper! If that's what you think, I have better places to be," she stormed off down the hall. I felt bad and considered following her, but my stomach, combined with my recent annoyance with her, lead me elsewhere.

* * *

I got in line for pizza. It was Oliver's favorite lunch too…But why did I know that? We weren't even in the same lunch. I tried to shake off the thought but I couldn't get what Miley had said to me out of my brain; They are perfect for each other…

"Hey Lily! where's Miley?" Sarah came up and asked me.

"Ummm, she actually wasn't feeling very well, so she went to the nurse," I replied unsurely. "Whats up?"

"Nothing, really. So, is it true?" I had absolutely no clue what she was talking about, but I knew she was dying to know from her expression.

"Is what true?"

"Ya know, about you and Oliver? I think it's great! Everyone knows you guys are like, perfect, for each other." How familiar that sounded.

"Where'd you, uh, hear this?" I desperately hoped that the source wouldn't be Miley.

"I think Lauren told me? Maybe it was Hannah. Not sure. But everyone knows! Anyway, I got to go get in the vegetarian line, but I'll talk to you later! Bye!" She ran off, and I was left steaming. The entire grade knew? In a matter of days I had gone from normal life with my two best friends to dating one of them as according to the gossipers, and not talking to the other one.

* * *

Walking over to Miley's house after school that day took longer than normal. I hated fighting with Miley, but this whole thing was so stupid. I didn't like Oliver like that. All I had to do was convince her of that.

I rang the doorbell and looked out towards the beach. Oliver and I always used to hang out there, before Miley moved…

"Hey, Lily, what can I do for you today?" Mr. Stewart answered the door, jerking me from my thoughts.

"Ummm, hey, Mr. Stewart. Is Miley there? I kind of need to talk to her." I answered, hoping that Miley would even talk to me today after the magazine comment earlier.

"She's here, just come on in. MILEY!" he yelled up the stairs.

"What's up, D--?" She ran down the stairs, then stopped abruptly when she saw me, and folded her arms defensively. "What are you doing here?"

I took a deep breath. "I was wondering if we could talk. I'm sorry about how I acted earlier, I was being irrational, I was just so wound up--"

"Fine. Let's go to the beach. Let me just go get my shoes," she replied as she ran back up the stairs.

We sat in silence for a minute, me and Mr. Stewart, before he started talking. "So, is it true, Lily? You and Oliver finally getting together?"

How did he know about all of this? Surely Miley didn't tell him. "Ummm, not quite, as far as I know. Who told you…?"

"No one. Figured it out on my own. Way you and him look at each other ain't the same way Miley looks at either of you. And if you ain't together now, you will be soon. Trust me on these things."


	2. Chapter 2

**sorry it took so long, been working on other stories more =] bold means A) diary entry, B) text message. Italics means its a flash back. read and review!**

**disclaimer: i don't own hannah montana. duh.**

**

* * *

**

**Dear Journal,**

**Ok, so, big fight with Miley yesterday. I went to her house to apologize a little while ago. I didn't really want to, but I felt bad. But everyone has been talking about me and Oliver--Miley, Sarah, Mr. Stewart. He made some stupid comment about "how we look at each other." I look at Oliver like I do anyone else. At least, that's what I think. Whatever. **

**But then when I fell asleep earlier, I dreamt about him. We were just at the beach, chillen like always, but it was different. It was less argumentative, more happy. And then, when we left, he took my hand and we walked down the beach, still just talking. When we reached my house, he kissed me on the cheek and I almost skipped inside I was so happy.**

**What was it all about? Miley would just tell me its my subconscious, that's its my current "happy place." I'm calling it my current nightmare.**

**Top 10 reasons I can't date Oliver**

**2. We're practically related.**

**I decided to think about it this time. And just to prove to Miley that I'm not scared of a relationship, I'm going to go talk to Oliver. Prove her wrong.**

**Lilly**

**

* * *

**

I called Oliver earlier. We decided to meet at the beach later. I had a few hours, so I figured I'd go work on my homework so I could go help Miley prepare for her concert tomorrow night.

I sat down at the desk, flipping open my math book with a sigh. Algebra was never a strong point of mine--usually Oliver just helped me. Today didn't seem so appropriate to ask him for help, though. I started on the first problem, but I could tell I wouldn't be able to focus. My thoughts kept sliding back to my conversation with Oliver.

"_Hey."_

"_Wondering when you'd call," Oliver sighed._

"_Whats the supposed to mean?"_

"_Nothing. Sorry. Whats up?"_

"_Nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to hang roday."_

"_Sure. I'll meet you at the beach at 3."_

"_I'll see you then. And…" I despretely wanted to talk to him like normal, for all this weirdness to go away._

"_What?"_

"_Nothing. I'll see you at 3."_

It was the most akward conversation I had had so far with Oliver. Obviously he had heard the rumors, but I hadn't expect him to be so…affected by it. I mean, in 7th grade there was a rumor spreading around that his dad really wasn't his dad, and he didn't even care. So why let a little thing like this bother him?

* * *

Apparently, it wasn't only bothering him. I couldn't do anything that day, except fidget and wait for 3 to come. I gave up on my math homework shortly after starting, knowing it was useless to try. I decided to get ready--despite the fact that it was only 11--and hopped in the shower. The hot water relaxed my tense muscles, and for 20 minutes I was able to focus on nothing but the smell of my shampoo and not cutting myself with my razor. It come to a close all to quickly, though; and I was back in my room by 11:30.

I looked in my closet, hoping for something decent to be clean. I combed through my shirts, silently rejecting each new one I came to. Why was I acting like this? On most occasions, I put more thought into whether I should have breakfast or not. Eventually, I picked out my pink baby doll tee (Miley bought it for me) and a pair of white shorts. As I was dressing, I remembered what happened the last time I wore it.

"_Finally someone's got style!" Miley rejoiced, running up to me in the halls._

"_Umm, you're the one who bought it. And besides everything else was dirty. Our laundry machine's broken, so now all I have is your 'gifts.'_

"_Thank the lord!"_

"_Hey Miley, hey lilly…" Oliver trailed off, and looked up and down my frame. "What are you wearing?"_

"_Clothes," I replied sarcastically. "Miley bought them. It's the only thing left in my closet--our laundry machine's broken."_

"_Oh. Well, they look good." Not what I expected. Blushing, I said thank you before quickly changing the subject._

Was that part of the reason I was wearing the shirt? That I wanted to impress him again, inspire the same reaction? That didn't make sense though. I had no feelings for Oliver.

* * *

I decided to head down to the beach early. Sitting around my empty house just made the minutes stretch into hours, only making the passing time more and more stressful. After scribbling a note for my mom, I locked the door and headed towards the beach. It was only a 10 minute walk, and I relished the time I was able to spend focused on taking the right turns and not getting hit by a passing car.

The sea breeze overcame my senses and instantly calmed me. Throwing off my flip flops, I ran into the low surf and let the water wash over my feet. The water was cool and smooth, and for a few minutes I listen to nothing but the crash of waves onto the beach.

"Hey," Miley said hesitantly, staring out at the surfers in the distance.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound to inquisitive.

"I was just with Jake. He had to leave to go back to the set. You?"

"Waiting for Oliver," I saw a look of shock spread across her brow, asking for further explanation. "I figured it was time we…we talked about it."

"Oh lily," she pulled me into a hug. "I'm proud of you.

"Thanks…I think."

"Look, I've got to go, but…things have changed between you two. Oliver may not like it anymore than you do, but they are different. You can't just go on pretending that you don't have feelings for each other. Or at least have thought about having feelings for each other," she added hastily after I glared at her. "Your feelings have matured, and that's completely natural. I bet Oliver is wishing that he could just go back to loving from--" she stopped suddenly. "Crap, I wasn't supposed to say that. Anways, just think about your not the only one whose affected by it." She started to walk off.

"What do you mean, loving from? Loving from what, Miley? MILEY STEWART, GET BACK HERE!"

She continued to walk away, but I felt my phone start to vibrate. I was fuming, but I picked it up so I wouldn't focus on what Miley said. Bad idea.

**You have 1 new text message from: MILEY STEWART**

I furiously clicked ok to reveal the message, not caring about anything she could say. Her message was a single word:

**Afar.**

**Sent by: MILEY STEWART**

**Received: 2:28 pm September 18**


	3. Chapter 3

**bold is cell phone journal entry. longest chapter ever! woot! haha anyways i think this is my fave chapter so far =] i was listening to forever and always by taylor swift--that's why its raining at the end. such a good song! the lyrics don't exactly fit to this chapter (ok the only part the actually connects is the rain) but the mood of the song was exactly what the mood of this was (at least when i was writing this). go listen to it! awesome song =] read and review!**

**disclaimer: i don't own hannah montana. duh**

Chapter 3 

**Dear Journal/Cell phone:**

**I'm waiting to meet Oliver. He's running late, which usually means he doesn't want to do whatever it is he has to do. Great. Anyways, I just talked to Miley--she didn't help. Except for one thing. She said Oliver wishes he could go back to loving from…afar? What the hell does she mean? There's no way Oliver's been in love with me…how long has she had this "theory"? And if she is right, how long has he been like that? Since Lucas? Since Matt?  
**

**I just got a new reason--it popped into my head as I was typing.**

**3. It would be way to awkward when we broke up.**

**That's good. Right?  
**

**I see him coming. This should be fun :/**

**Lilly**

**

* * *

**

Oliver was late. I sat on the beach for 15 minutes after Miley left before I started typing into my cell phone, knowing that if I didn't organize my thoughts I would go crazy. I saw him walking over--21 minutes late--and I quickly shut my phone, pushing it in my back pocket, and stood up to greet him.

"Hey," I said once he reached my spot.

"Hey."

I decided to get right to it. "Look, Oliver," I gulped hesitantly, not sure how to phrase what I was trying to say. "There's no use trying to avoid the rumor. You're my best friend. I hate that we're not talking. I mean, it's just a silly rumor, right?"

Oliver sighed. "Ya. Just a stupid rumor. Besides, we'd never work. So, umm hows math coming along?"

We awkwardly chatted for a few minutes before he told me he had to get going, that he had family coming over soon. As I watched him walk off towards the parking lot, I saw his shoulders droop, as if he had been defeated in a war he was fighting with himself. He had spoken what I wanted to hear, but what he actually told me was so much different.

* * *

"What? Your not gonna be home until 11? Mom, we were supposed to have dinner tonight…"

"I'm sorry, Lilly, but I'm stuck at work. We'll do it tomorrow."

"Fine. I'll talk to you later," I angrily hung up, snapping the phone shut with way more force than necessary. She had done the same thing for the last month--she'd promise that we'd hang out on the weekend, grab pizza or watch a movie, and then cancel on me to stay at "work." It's been that way for years, ever since he divorced her.

I shook the thought off. If there was one thing I hated thinking of more than Oliver being in love with me, it was my dad.

* * *

I couldn't go home. It would be empty, motionless. A place to think. Exactly what I didn't want. I quickly weighed my options in my head. _Go home, stay at the beach, go to Miley's. Go home, stay at the beach, go to Miley's._ Going home wasn't happening, and I really didn't want to talk to Miley right now. She's my best friend and all, but I can't deal with her over-analyzing every word that passed between Oliver and I.

That left one option--stay at the beach. As much as I didn't want to, I had no place better to go. I sat down, staking out my territory. I glanced at the clock on my cell phone, it was already 4:37. I had a new text from Miley and my mom, but I didn't feel like talking to either of them. Chucking the phone aside, I laid down on the warm sand. I twirled it in my fingers, watching the formation of hills and valleys on the ground. My eyes started drooping, and I couldn't muster up the will to fight it. Before I knew it, I was sleeping.

* * *

"Lilly?" Someone asked me, waking me from my slumber.

"LUCAS?" I half screamed, realizing who the stranger was.

"Hey." He looked like he wanted to remind time, to just have passed on by.

"Wha… What are you doing here?"

"I still go to the beach, Lilly. We do live in California…"

"No dur. I meant what are doing talking to me?"

"Look," he started anxiously, wishing desperately that he didn't have to continue on. _Please don't start apologizing,_ I prayed._ Not now._ "I'm really sorry for cheating on you. I know it was a couple of months ago, but…I still feel awful. I realize know what a jerk I was. So, ya…" he trailed off, unsure of where to go next.

"Uh…Thanks," I said undecidedly. I couldn't tell whether he was being genuine or was just hoping for something from me.

"Look, it's ok if you don't believe me. I just…needed to get it off my chest. Needed for you to know that I'm not that guy anymore. Not that it matters to you, cuz obviously we're not getting together, we're not even friends…" He trailed off, realizing he had completely blown whatever sort of dignity that he had entered into the conversation with.

For some reason, I believed him. Despite completely making a fool of himself, I saw what he was trying to say. "Thanks."

"Oh-Oh-Ok," he stuttered, apparently in disbelief that I actually believed him. "So, uh, how you been?" Great. Time for awkward small talk.

"Fine, I guess. I like most of my teachers. You?" I asked with subtle indifference, not wanting to seem like all was forgiven.

"Same. Except I have Johansonn. Awful teacher. Why they hired her is completely beyond me." He was trying too hard, but I figured I'd give him a break.

"That sucks," I sympathized. "I've got Keller for Geometry--I'm about ready to shoot her whenever she opens her mouth to speak." I could practically hear the sigh of relief that I knew he so badly wanted to let out.

"Oh, I had her last year, she's almost worse than Johansson."

"Almost?" I laughed.

"Hard to beat the lady who references Sesame Street at least 3 times in one period."

"Good point," I agreed.

"So, uh, I'm…happy for, uh, you and Oliver. Always figured it would happen eventually."

"What are you talking about?"

"You and Oliver. Aren't you together now?"

"What are you talking about? Of course not!"

"Oh. Well then. I'm pretty sure that Oliver returns the feelings."

"If Oliver returns the feelings? What do you mean?" I stuttered, completely in the dark about what he was trying to say.

"Well, you like him, right? No offense, but it's not that hard to tell."

"It's not?"

"Look at what your wearing, Lilly. Maybe I'm wrong--I'm not exactly an expert at love--but to an outsider looking in, it's looks like your falling."

"It's not his feelings I'm worried about."

"Well, figure out yours then. Don't you think he's already waited long enough?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that? That he's been waiting all this time?"

"Have you ever thought everyone keeps saying that because it's the truth?"

"But it's not! Trust me, I know Oliver. He's not in love with me. And he definitely hasn't been for 'all this time.'"

"You may be the one person who knows him best, Lilly, but you also may be extremely oblivious to this particular part of Oliver," he stood up, grabbing his jacket. "I've got to go meet Sam, but good luck with Oliver. It was nice talking to you again."

I stopped him after he was a few yards away. "Luke!" I called. "Thanks."

* * *

I decided that I couldn't stay at the beach, where the memory of the last encounter played vividly in my end; it was as if it was on a never-ending repeat.

Slipping my feet back into my sandals, I double checked that I still had my cell phone, and left the beach. The irresistible smell of hot dogs caught my attention while on my course and I delightfully settled into one of the chairs next to the counter in Rico's Snack Shack.

"Hey Lilly," Jackson handed me the water bottle. "What's on your mind? You look worried."

"Nothing. It's just--I'm not sure you'd understand. Come to think of it, I don't even know why I'm telling this to you."

"It's Oliver, isn't it?"

"How do you know about it?!" I exclaimed. Did everyone know? This was becoming borderline creepy.

"I overheard Miley talking to my Dad. Said she just wished that you would see what's right in front of you."

"Great. Why can't she just mind my own business?"

"Because she's just looking out for you, Lilly. Trying to show you this so that when you look back in 20 years, it won't be regretful."

"Wow, Jackson. That's deep."

"Yah. I heard it on some talk show one of my exes made me watch with her."

"Typical."

"Hey, it's good advice. Just think about it? Stop fighting against it, and just consider it."

He actually made sense. It was weird, but the two people who I would have never came to for advice were able to explain it best to me. I thanked him for the water, and started to walk towards my house.

* * *

Strolling down the sidewalk absentmindedly, I noticed that the weather had changed from nice and sunny to dark clouds and gusts of wind. Great, I thought, just what I need. The drops of water started to fall, picking up in volume with each passing second. Soon, I was drenched. Looking up at the sky, I remembered when Oliver and I had gone camping during the summer a few years ago. We were climbing one of the nearby mountains when it started to pour. Oliver's parents wanted to turn around, but we kept walking. By the time we reached the top, we were completely soaked. It didn't matter though; it was the highlight of the summer. It reminded me why I was friends with Oliver; we could be carefree 5 year olds, escaping the realities of our true identity.

A fierce gust of wind knocked me out of my day dream, and I found myself not at the top of my street, but of Oliver's. I had memorized the route before I knew where my school was, it was second nature to me--but why was I here now?

"Oh, sorry!" Some girl apologized after jamming into my shoulder.

I turned around to apologize, but I was already walking away. She was holding hands with a guy I presumed was her boyfriend, and I was strangely jealous. My heart ached for whatever it was that girl had; she was a whole lot happier than I was. Curiously, the couple reminded me of Oliver and myself, and that's when I knew.

I ran the rest of the way to Oliver's house, eager to enlighten him with the new development in our story. My feet pounded his driveway, splashing the car in his driveway. Silently praying that Oliver would be home, my fist hurriedly knocked on the door.

All that greeted my was silence. It filled my body, ousting the hope that had occupied it only moments before. I knocked again, desperately hoping that he was just downstairs playing video games, and hadn't heard my. The sound rang through the sounds of the house, and I quickly tried the front door to check that it was open, a sure sign that the Okens were home. It wasn't.

Despair wrapped around my brain, filling me with doubt at my revelation. What was I thinking? I should at least think about it, take some time. I knew in my heart, though, I was only trying to console myself for not seeing Oliver right then. I sat down on the steps, determined to wait for Oliver. I didn't care if it took 5 minutes or 5 hours--I was staying.

* * *

One hour, 13 minutes. I was counting, determined to prove to myself that I wouldn't leave. Jumping up suddenly, I felt my phone go off in my pocket. It was a call from some number not in my address book.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Lilly," Oliver's mom, the unknown caller, replied. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Ya, sure. What's up?"

"It's Oliver. He's been in a car accident."

* * *

**hope you liked it! i wasn't sure how exactly to write her "revelation" because i didn't want it to be too cheesy or anything but at the same time i wanted it to be important. review!! =]**


	4. Chapter 4

**hey guys here's the next chapter. song for this chapter was breathe by taylor swift =] listen to it while you read it, makes it so much better!! fits the mood really well, esp. "feeling like i just lost a friend" at the end for how lily's feeling. and then "i can't breathe" just how she's feeling this chapter. anyways read and review!! please review if you read it, even if you have criticism (especcially if you have criticism! or suggestions) shout outs to everyone who does review, it puts a smile on my face!! =]**

**Chapter 4**

The phone slid out of my hand as I loosened my grip, too shocked to realize what I was doing. It bounced on the ground, kicking rocks out of its way and eventually landing on its top. "Lily? Are you still there?" I heard Mrs. Oken's voice, but I didn't comprehend that it was out my phone. I looked around, searching for the voice, until I saw my phone on the ground and hastily picked it up again.

"Ya, sorry, I'm here." I mumbled, still in shock. Was he hurt? Where was he? Not Oliver…

"I'm at the hospital with him. I think you and Miley should come down."

"I'll be right there."

* * *

Miley's red convertible pulled into Oliver's driveway 7 minutes later. I called her, barely able to ask her to come get me at Oliver's before succumbing to tears. I knew she probably thought something happened between Oliver and I, but I didn't care.

She ran out of the car and pulled me into a standing position. I leaned on her, unable to walk without falling over my eyes were so filled with tears. I pulled myself into the passenger's seat before Miley started talking a mile a minute.

"What happened, Lily? Why are you here all alone? Where are we going?"

"Olivers--Been--In--Accident," I uttered, gasping for breath between each word.

"What?!" she screeched, pushing down on the brakes. She pulled into the next driveway, and turned around.

"Wh-Wh-Where are we going?" I asked, wanting to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

"The hospital." Oh. Good thing she knew where she was going.

I knew Miley still wanted to know about what happened between me and Oliver on the beach, if anything happened at all. "Miley…Your right. About everything," I cried, not wanting to say the three words on my mind, not now. "I…I…I'm in love with Oliver," I sobbed.

"Oh, lily!" She exclaimed. She pulled into the hospital parking lot, cutting off some old couple for a parking spot. She pulled me into her arms, and I lost it.

* * *

I sat their sobbing for 15 minutes straight, until my eyes refused to cry anymore. I lifted my head and saw that Miley's shoulder was soaked with my tears. "I'm sorry," I laughed-cried, pointing to her shirt.

"Lily, you seriously think I care?"

"Ya. Right…" I trailed off, wiping the trails of mascara off my cheeks.

"Come on," she said as we got out of the car. _It took too much effort to walk,_ I thought. _It took to much effort to feel._

We walked into the lobby, and got our badges. We lied and told the security guard that we were cousins--family only for ICU patients. I don't think he believed us, but he let us in anyways, knowing that we may as well have been family.

The elevator ride was dreadfully long; every stop brought on more patients and doctors. I've never been claustrophobic, but the elevator was too small, my head kept pounding with every new person. My heart swelled with relief when we reached our floor. I pushed my way through the crowd to get to the floor, and then stopped in my tracks. I couldn't do this. As much as I hated being on that elevator, I would take it any day over standing in the lobby of the ICU, looking for my best friend's room.

* * *

We walked down the hallway, wanting to reach his room but at the same time praying that it would never come, that we were just being punk'd. It took us 3 minutes, 34 seconds--I counted, just to keep my mind off of what was coming--to find it.

The curtains were slightly pulled off, and we stopped in front of the window before walking it. Oliver was in the bed, with tubes sticking out all across his body. There was a single light on in the room, but inside were his mom, dad, and freshman sister, Maddie. She was sitting in a corner, listening to her ipod and reading some book, but she kept glancing over to Oliver every 30 seconds or so. I wondered if she was actually reading or just re-reading the same line over and over again, trying to convince her parents she was fine. She would never admit it, but I had a feeling she was just as worried about Oliver as her parents.

His mom was sitting in the chair on the right of his bed. She was stroking his hair absentmindedly and staring down at his face, no doubt worrying about if Oliver was ever going to wake up. Next to her chair lay an empty coffee cup. Both his parents were coffee addicts, and I could see his dad sipping from his mug in the corner of my vision. Turning to look at him, I saw that he was on the other side of Oliver. Setting down his coffee mug, he leaned over and held his face in his hands. On his face was a white bandage, stretched across half of his forehead. He had minor cuts and scratches on his arms. I knew that he was blaming himself for the crash, asking God why his son had to suffer while he escaped with only minor injuries.

I turned to look at Miley, tears filling my eyes again. A lone tear sliding across her face, she nodded when she saw my look of terror on my face. "We have to go in, Lily."

"I know," I gulped, and led the way into the room.

* * *

"Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Oken, " I said as we walked into the room, unsure of what to say or do. I looked at Oliver's vacant face and wanted to scream. "Maddie," I nodded, amazed I could keep myself together.

"Oh girls, thanks for coming. It means a lot to Oliver, I know." Mrs. Oken said, walking over to us. The wrinkles in her face seemed more pronounced, and first time I could see how aged Oliver's mom really was.

As she smiled at us the door swung open, revealing an older man in a long, white doctor's coat. "Mr. and Mrs. Oken, may I have a word?" He asked, and I realized that he must be Oliver's doctor. Mrs. Oken looked at her husband and he stood up. Taking her hand, he led her out of the room to conference privately with the doctor.

I took Mrs. Oken's seat next to Oliver, afraid to touch him should I disturb any of the many tubes. Miley took Mr. Oken's seat and started talking to Maddie as I listened in the back of my head. A few minutes into the conversation, I realized that they were talking about me, but I was too depressed to say anything.

"How's she doing?" Maddie asked Miley, referring to me.

Miley looked at me in the corner of her eyes, concern etched into her face. "I don't really know…She hasn't talked to me much. Mostly she's just been crying. Or like this."

"How come your not like her too?"

"I know how to handle grief better," she replied, as if on cue, and I knew she was referring to her mom. "You know Lily's never been good with people leaving…" she trailed off, unsure of whether to tell Maddie or not. "And…"

"She finally got it?"

"Ya," Miley sighed, relieved that she didn't have to tell her directly. "I picked her up at your house, actually."

"Why was she there?"

"I'm not sure. Like I said before, she's said a total of like 10 words to me since she called me. I think it has something to do with telling Oliver, though."

"But didn't they meet today at the beach? My dad said Oliver was all depressed when he picked him up…"

I zoned out the rest of their conversation. The only thought that could fit in my head was that Oliver was depressed when this happened because of me. What if he never woke up? He would die mad at me, never knowing how I felt. "That's not going to happen though," I whispered to Oliver. "Right?"

* * *

**hope you liked it!! now go review =]**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow, sorry this took me so long to update! I've had the outline for a while but just haven't gotten around to it...im trying to update every story by the end of vc(: anyways, i decided to do this one in honor of WIDLAY which premiered today(:**

Chapter 5

"Hey Oliver," I said, bouncing into his room. I quickly checked his face for any reaction, even though I knew it wouldn't be there.

"So, you'll never guess what happened at school today," I told him, sitting down in one of the chairs and pulling out my homework. "It turns out that Sarah is going with Matt. Yeah, Matt Marshall. Who would have thought of that? Anyways, I found out when I walked into the spare lab room to grab something for Mr. Jones and they were making out in the corner. Let's just say that was awkward."

I started to do my math homework. By now it was three weeks after the accident, and I would come over every day after school and stay until 6 or 7, until my mom made me leave. Every day I came in hoping today would be the day, the day he finally woke up. Every day, I came in to find him as unconscious as ever.

Usually, Mrs. Oken would leave to go get some lunch when I came in, but today she wasn't here. I figured she must have just left early, since I did have to come in late.

I saw her come around the corner a few minutes later, talking with the doctor. I could overhear their conversation:

"So you'd don't know when he'll wake up?" Oliver's mom asked.

"At this point, no. These things are hard to predict. However, we can tell you that he is stable and in no immediate danger," the doctor answered. "Most of the time, the length of the coma is actually left up to the patient. When they want to wake up, they do. But for now all we can do is wait."

"What's going to happened when he does finally wake up?"

"Well, it doesn't look like there is going to be any permanent mental damage. However, it is very possible that he may experience some temporary memory loss. In addition, it's going to take weeks of physical therapy for him to regain his strength, and obviously it'll take a good 4 to 6 more weeks for his leg and arm to heal."

They walked away, onto filling out some paperwork. I tried to process the information. Oliver was choosing not to wake up?

"Come on, Oliver," I said to him, gently shaking his uninjured arm. "Please. You gotta get up, already."

* * *

"Let's see, Harry Potter or Twilight?" I asked myself out loud, trying to decide what movie to get.

"If I were you, I would skip both," I heard some guy say behind me. I turned around to find a cute brunette staring back at me. "But that's just my opinion."

"Really?" I asked. "And why are you Mr. Know it all in the field of movies?"

"Well, since I do organize them on a weekly basis, I know the best ones," he answered. "I'm Connor. I volunteer here."

"Such a noble thing to do," I teased. "I know all the patients truly appreciate your organization skills."

"Well, there's not much else you can do around here if you don't have some type of degree," he countered.

"Good point," I agreed. "I'm Lily."

"I've seen you around. Do you have a sibling in or something?" He asked.

"How do you know I'm not a patient?" I rebutted.

"You don't have a hospital bracelet," he pointed out. "And you leave every day."

"Oh. How observant of you," I smiled. "Actually, my best friend's in a coma, so I come around every day to give his mom a break."

"How noble of you," he smiled back. "But I'm sorry. It sucks to know people in here. Do you know if he's going to be ok?"

"I think so," I answered, hoping it was true. "The doctors are just waiting for him to wake up."

"He's one of the lucky ones, then," he replied knowingly, as if he had been in my situation once.

"Yeah, I guess," I agreed. "I better get back though."

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "I'll see you around."

* * *

I ended up spending more time with Connor than I ever imagined. He became the one person I could talk to about Oliver. He would sit with me every day for hours, just helping me cope.

"Thanks so much," I said to him one day after he brought me a coffee. "I mean for everything. I don't think I could have made it this far without you."

"No problem. Like I said before, there's not much else to do around here," he joked. "But can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, no prob," I told him.

"Why is it that you're here every day? I know you guys are tight, but I've never seen a friend in here as much as you are," he observed.

"I don't know," I replied, unsure of what I should tell him. "Right before he got in the accident, we kind of got in a fight. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I can't stand to think of the fact that he's still angry at me."

"What was your fight about?" he inquired.

I pondered what to say before finally giving in. All these weeks, I had yet to tell anyone, not even Miley. "There was this rumor going around that Oliver and I were together. Things just got really awkward, and right before I went to go talk to him, my best friend Miley told me that he was in love with me, that he had been for years. Basically, when I talked to him, I kind of said that it was a silly rumor, with no truth to it."

"Ouch," he spat out. "Cruel, Lilly. What did he say?"

"Hey!" I interjected. "I was scared! Anyway, he agreed with me but I could tell that he was lying. So he left, and that's when he got in the accident.." I trailed off, unsure if I should tell him about what happened next.

"And?" he asked. "There's got to be something else."

"I kinda figured out that I feel the same way about him," I admitted reluctantly. "I was at his house when I got the call."

"Wow," he mumbled, shaking his head. "Fate hates you."

"No kidding," I chuckled. "But I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. I mean, I can't even tell Miley, and we've known each other for years."

"Wait…Miley's that other girl, right?" He asked, slightly confused.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "Her, Oliver and I were always best friends…it's just, she wouldn't get it. Her mom died, and never once have I seen her cry about it. Hear I am, falling apart over a guy who thinks I hate him. And, well…she knew. Knew that I liked him and tried to get me to see that but I was too stupid and didn't listen to her until it was too late."

* * *

Another month had passed without any signs of waking. By now, Connor and I had become close; I hung out with him almost as much as I did Miley. It was already summer, and when she didn't have to perform, Miley would come keep me company.

"Lilly," she said one day. "You seriously need to get out of here."

"What?" I asked.

"Look, I've wanted to say this for a while, but you're always here. You need to go outside, to enjoy yourself. I'm sure Oliver will understand if you leave his side for a few hours," she reasoned.

"I guess. Where do you want to go?"

"Shopping?" She smiled, and I shook my head. Could I really expect anything else?

* * *

"So what's up with you and Connor?" she asked me while she was looking over some clothes.

"What?" I said, almost choking on my water.

"You know, the guy your inseparable from?"

"Nothing!" I exclaimed. "We're friends."

"Sure," she said. "That's totally why you two flirt nonstop."

"What?!" I retorted. "We do not!"

"Lilly," she stopped walking, and looked straight at me. "It's ok if you have feelings for him. It doesn't mean you love Oliver any less. But you need to figure out how you feel, because you have this habit of lying to yourself about guys."

"That's not fair," I retorted. "And I don't have feelings for him. He's just a friend."

"If that's what you want to think."

* * *

Connor and I had gone down out to the cafeteria to buy some frozen yogurt one day when we decided to visit the Patient garden. Standing there, it was hard not to feel emotional. Every step was dedicated to one of the patients who had died.

We walked over to one of the benches and sat down. The garden was a sanctuary in the middle of a city, and we could faintly hear cars in the background.

"Look, Lilly," Connor said, turning towards me. "This summer has been amazing and I really like you. But I'm tired of being the friend, the shoulder to cry on. I want more than that."

"What?" I asked, in disbelief of what he had just said. "You want…"

"I want to be with you," he repeated, looking into my eyes.

This couldn't be happening. Not again. I was in love with Oliver, wasn't I?

I stood up. "I…I need some time to think."

Walking out of the garden, I turned around before I exited. I saw him sitting their, staring at one of the stones and shaking his head.

* * *

"God, Oliver, what am I supposed to do?" I quietly yelled, pacing up and down his room. "He asked me to be his girlfriend! I mean, I love Connor…but I'm not in love with him, am I?

If he only he would wake up. Then I wouldn't have this problem.

"But…when I'm with him, I'm happy, you know? I've just been upset for so long…"

I stared at his face, serene in the afternoon light. His scars had faded, and he looked like he was sleeping. I swallowed, knowing what I had to do.

"You would want me to be happy, right? I can't be like this anymore…its time to move on," I murmured. I leaned over and quickly kissed the top of his head as I grabbed my stuff.

Stopping at the door, I whispered, "I'm not giving up on you…Just us."

* * *

**now review!!! (:**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: ok so please don't hate me for last chapter (or this one either)...I promise lolliver isn't over yet(: also, thanks to believeinlove08 for reviewing every chapter, and props to 506thpir for "prediciting the future"...read&review please!**

******Chapter 6**

I pulled up to the door of the playground, searching for Connor. I saw him bending over the same stone as he had when I left him.

"Hey," I said reluctantly, walking up to him.

"Hey," he repeated, turning around and standing up to greet me.

He started to saw something, bur I cut him off. "Look. I'm sorry for running off on you before…I was just caught off guard."

"It's ok," he sighed. "I probably shouldn't have sprung something like that so quickly onto you. I better get, going though, I'll see you around."

He started to walk off, but I grabbed him by the arm. "I'm not done. I agree with you."

"What?" He asked.

"I like you, Connor. As a guy, not as a friend."

"Oh," he spat out, looking around, and an uncomfortable silence briefly descended on us.

"Well, that's good then," he finally said. "Because I don't want to lose you, too."

* * *

It felt wrong to go back to see Oliver, like I had betrayed him. Instead, the nest day Miley and I went to the beach. I had meant to bring up the Connor situation all day, but by the time dinner rolled around, I still had yet to talk to her.

"So, I was thinking that we could just grab some stuff from Rico's for dinner, and then we can head over to the concert," she said, describing our plans for the Hannah concert tonight.

"Yeah," I agreed, "Sounds great."

She randomly stopped walking, and turned to face me. "What is it, Lily? Spit it out already!"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You call me this morning asking to do something, and for the first time all summer long you don't go to see Oliver. So I take you to the beach, but all days it's been 'Yeah, sure' or some other bull shit answer. What happened?" She burst out.

"Umm," I stumbled, completely taken aback. "It's just…Connor asked me out and I said yes."

She looked at me in shock, then an expression I couldn't decode. "Oh, Lily! I'm happy for you," she sighed. "It's good that you're moving on."

"You think?" I questioned earnestly.

"Yeah," she sighed, but I could hear the overtones of doubt. "And I have something to tell you too!"

"What?" I asked; glad to get away from the uncomfortable situation.

"Jake and I got back together," she squealed. "Now we can double!"

"Awesome!" I replied back sarcastically. That was just what I needed.

* * *

I was sitting backstage as Lola when I heard Jake and Miley approaching. Not wanting to intrude, I quietly slipped into the side room as they walked in.

"You did great out there," I heard Jake compliment Miley.

"Thanks," she smiled. "I'm glad you liked it."

"Of course I did. Did I mention how hot I think Hannah is?" He flirted, and I desperately hoped this wouldn't turn into one of their make out sessions.

"Seems to have come up a couple of times," she responded, and I heard her kiss him quickly. "But the whole thing with Lily…I don't know, Jake, it's just been bothering me ever since she told me."

What? She said she was glad I said yes!

"Well what's up with this whole Connor guy?" He inquired. "Is he actually a good guy, or just some punk?"

"No, no, he's actually pretty nice," I heard her defend him. "It's just…I don't think she's over Oliver, I just think she's tired of waiting."

"Well, at some point you just got to let her make her own decisions, Miley. She's a big girl now," he joked.

"I know…I'm just scared, what is she going to do when he wakes up?"

What did she mean, what was I going to do when Oliver woke up? Did she think I would just drop Connor and run? Of course not. I'm with Connor now; that's how things would stay. It didn't matter if he woke up in the next minute, I was over him.

* * *

I had my first date with Connor the next day. He was taking me to the summer fair in another part of the city. I was excited, and determined to prove Miley wrong.

We left at 4 that afternoon, and because of all the traffic it took us an hour to get there. Soon enough, though, we were inside and the festival was in full force.

He bought me some tickets and we walked around and rode rides for most of the afternoon; it was fun, but it felt like I was just out with a friend.

That changed, though, when we walked down the boardwalk to watch the fireworks.

"You ever been to the fair before?" He asked me as we waited for the show to begin.

"Nah," I told him. "I always wanted to go, but I never got the chance. You?"

"Yeah, a couple years ago…" He answered, trailing off. "You'll love the fireworks, though. They're spectacular."

As soon as he started describing them to me, a hush fell over the beach as they started up. He put his arm around me, and we watched the lights fall over the ocean.

* * *

We left after that, because he had agreed to come in later that night at the hospital. I told him he could just drop me off there, and we headed over.

"Well, this is it," he said as we reached Oliver's room, whom I had come to check up on. "I had a good time tonight."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Me too."

He leaned in and quickly kissed me on the lips, but I held him in the soft embrace slightly longer than he expected. I missed physical contact, something I had been void of for months.

As he pulled out, I saw him smile before turning around and walking away. I couldn't help but grin as I slowly stepped into the doorway.

That expression quickly leaped off my face, though, when I saw Oliver staring back at me, crestfallen and awake.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! They make me write faster (: Anyways, please don't hate Connor! He's actually a really good guy, whose been through a lot. That's why I added the story he tells below--to humanize him. Also, Lilly isn't just using him. She does feel a little attraction for him, but it's not like with Oliver. Their relationship is kind of like Jacob and Bella's in New Moon, if Bella had said yes. enjoy!! and review (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah montana, or else Lilly and Oliver would have gotten together already...o wait, they did! (: still don't own it!**

Chapter 7

Walking into the room was like walking into my first day of high school. I was greeting a friend I hadn't seen in a while; but it was the nervousness that marked the attitude of the conversation. Awkwardness filled the air.

"Hey," I sighed, walking over to him. "How are you?"

"Fine," he answered, looking everywhere in the room except my face.

"When did you wake up?" I asked.

"This afternoon," he replied bluntly, offering up no other details. I couldn't believe that this was the first time I had talked to my best friend in months, yet barely 10 words had passed between us.

"Well, that's good," I smiled, unable to think of any other response. We sat for a few more moments, neither talking, the uncomfortableness growing every passing second.

"So, who's the guy?" He spat out, staring ahead at the muted television pointedly.

* * *

After a few minutes of strained conversation, I couldn't stand it anymore. I mumbled some excuse about having to leave, and rushed out of the door, texting Connor to meet me in the cafeteria.

I tried to hold back tears as I walked through the halls, avoiding concerned looks from passersby. I didn't think his resentment would affect me this much, but who was I kidding? He had been my best friend since preschool and now he wouldn't even look me in the eyes.

Connor came running up to me when he saw my face, enveloping me in his arms. "What's wrong?" He asked, concern wrinkling up his face.

"Nothing," I quickly said, wiping the tears from my eyes but elaborating when his eyes filled with doubt. "I went to go see Oliver," I admitted.

"What did he do to you?" He spat out, an anger rising in his eyes.

"Nothing…It's what didn't happen," I whispered remorsefully.

"Come on, why don't we sit down and you can explain," he said as he led me to an empty booth.

Connor listened intently to my story, nodding at appropriate places. I knew he wanted to say more, yet he allowed me to rant without interruption.

"I'm sorry," he apologized when I was finished. "I wish that I could do something."

"It's ok," I sniffled, glad that someone cared.

He stared off into the distance for a while, thinking something over before finally saying, "Look, Lilly, there's something you should know. It's nothing bad, just…the past."

I looked into his eyes, confused. "Ok," I told him to go on.

"A couple of years ago, I first came to the hospital. Not as a patient, though," he added when he saw my concerned looks. "I was in the same position you are now. My girlfriend, Lauren, she was diagnosed with stage IV B Hodgkin's lymphoma. She went through chemotherapy, but the doctors only gave her 6 months to live."

He paused. Even though he tried to hide it, I knew that year must have been hell for him. "Anyways, she lived another year, thanks to her doctors. We owed them so much," he looked down at the floor. "That's why I work here. It's the least I can do."

I stared at him in grief. Here I was complaining, but I had my best friend. I didn't have to go through a year of watching him go through chemotherapy, knowing every day could be his last. "Connor…I'm so, so sorry. I had no idea."

"I know," he chuckled. "I've never really told anybody. After, my parents moved to the city when my dad lost his job, but I always thought they moved for me, so I could move on."

"Wow," I said, amazed at his parent's love. "Can I ask you a question, though?"

"Sure, shoot."

"Is there any point to this story, besides making me feel terrible?" I half laughed.

"Yeah," he nodded his head, getting the joke. "It's just…Don't sit around here waiting for things to magically change with Oliver. He's your best friend, and you saw how fast you almost lost him. Don't wait until he's gone."

* * *

The next morning I called Miley and we went to the mall. It was the first time I had talked to her since Oliver had woken up, and she treated me like a child with a broken heart.

"Miley!" I finally snapped. "Stop!"

"Maybe if you would explain what actually happened, I wouldn't have to assume," she said point-blank, pointing out the fact that I had avoiding the subject all day.

"Fine. I had just come back from my date with Connor, and he kissed me outside of Oliver's door before leaving, because obviously we had no idea that he was awake. But, of course, he saw," I said, embarrassed.

"Wow," Miley commented. "That sucks. I'm guessing he didn't take it well."

"Nope," I confirmed. "I went in to go saw hi, and it was terrible. He barely talked to me. Legit, I think he said 30 words to me before kicking me out. The longest thing he said to me was asking who 'that guy' was."

* * *

Miley somehow managed to convince me to swing by the hospital before dropping her off. I agreed, but only on the condition that I didn't have to go into his room.

We walked into the building, riding up the elevators in silent anticipation. When we arrived at his room, I sat down outside the door so he wouldn't see me, yet I could hear everything they said.

"How could you?" She yelled, barging into his room.

"What are you talking about?" He answered back in shock.

"You completely blew off Lily!" She shouted, and I hoped that no nurses would notice.

"I blew her off? She was making out with some guy in front of my window! And don't try and convince me that she doesn't know how I feel," he spat out viciously.

"Oliver, you missed a lot while you were in that coma. Don't go assuming what happened," Miley replied, her eyes narrowing.

"Oh yeah? Fill me in then."

"She was at your house when she got the call. Your house, Oliver. You know why? To tell you that she was in love with you. I found her sitting on the ground, sobbing. She wouldn't talk to anyone for days. She came, every day, sitting by your side for hours. Every single day, Oliver, for over two months. And finally, after all that time, she found someone who was willing to help her get over you. Why? Because she would have wasted away the rest of her life waiting for you, destroying her own. What would you have expected her to do?"

Oliver's shocked expression refused to believe what Miley was telling him. "Wait?"

"The only human contact she had over the past few months was the occasional conversation with your family, and when I would make her leave. Can't you just be happy for her?" She hollered, even louder this time, and walked out of the room in the other direction, forgetting I was waiting.

I kneeled down on the floor outside of his room, tears flowing down my cheeks. Why was Miley doing this? I didn't deserve it; I'm the one in a relationship with a great guy but in love with someone. I don't deserve anyone.

"Can't I be happy, too?" I heard Oliver softly whisper inside of his room.

I stood up quickly, my arm covering my face to quiet my sobs. I turn and ran out of the hospital, but I couldn't resist the urge to glance at Oliver's room. We locked eyes, two former friends with tears flowing down our faces.

And it was all my fault.

* * *

now review!! and now connor hate please (:


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: thanks for all the reviews, except for the fact that they contain MASSIVE connor hate and when i said "go review now connor hate" i meant to say "go review NO connor hate." so i'll say it again: please no connor hate (: but for all of you connor haters (and im assuming that's most of you) you will be very happy next chapter. i have the rest of the story planned so it should be up soon. now go read and review (:**

Chapter 8

_I stood up quickly, my arm covering my face to quiet my sobs. I turn and ran out of the hospital, but I couldn't resist the urge to glance at Oliver's room. We locked eyes, two former friends with tears flowing down our faces._

_And it was all my fault.

* * *

_

I ran down the hallway, frantically pushing the elevator button as I tried to stop the flow of silent tears down my cheeks. Luckily, the elevator quickly opened to reveal an empty space, and I jumped in and soon was downstairs in the lobby when my phone started to vibrate.

I opened it without even checking the caller I.D. first. "Hello?"

"Lilly, honey, it's Mom. Is their something wrong?" She asked, concerned.

"No, no, I'm fine," I said as I tried to disguise the sadness in my voice. "What's up?" I chirped.

"Well, I'm stuck here in San Francisco for the weekend," she told me. I wasn't surprised, for something like this came up almost every other week. "Are you ok with that?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course," I lied. "I'll see you on Monday?"

"I'll see you then. And remember, if you need anything, just head over to Miley's, ok? And don't hesitate to call," she said, as she did during every single of these conversations we had.

"Mom, I know. I'm not five. I'll see you later," I quickly hung up the phone. Where was I supposed to go now? I couldn't stand staying in that huge house by myself, but going over to Miley just meant rehashing what had just happened over and over. I couldn't take either right now.

I quickly looked around the lobby, and decided the best option would be to go get something to eat. Quickly arriving at the cafeteria, I decided on a slice of oily cheese pizza and vanilla frozen yogurt to eat my sorrows away.

After paying for the treats, I found an open booth near the corner of the cafeteria and started on my pizza. All too quickly it was gone, though, and I was simply left with my thoughts.

I pulled out my Ipod and put it on shuffle, hoping that it would distract me from my thoughts. The drum beat of Viva la Vida quickly started playing though, and the tears returned.

Coldplay was his favorite.

* * *

It was like losing a song from your Top 25 playlist. Once we had been inseparable, but now it was just a distant memory fading away…But unlike a song, I couldn't just press rewind.

Over the next month, we talked exactly 4 times. I cried exactly 32 times, crying myself to sleep every night for 4 weeks, plus each time after we talked.

I was done, though. It had gone on long enough, and I was tired of mourning what could have been. I wanted to start living, start enjoying myself, before it was too late.

* * *

Every year, someone decided to hold a huge back to school party on the beach for all the returning high schoolers. I went last year, but this year I decided I would rather just go out somewhere with Connor.

Miley was not pleased when she heard my decision. "Lilly!" She screamed. "You have to go!"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because! Everyone goes. It's like missing out on prom! Come on, it's the last Friday before school. You can see everyone that you haven't seen since June!" She tried to convince me.

"Miley, there isn't anyone I want to see that badly that I haven't seen from June," I rebuffed.

"Come on, Lilly! When we got out of school you were a complete mess. People were talking about you, nasty things Lilly. Don't you think this would be a good way to--" she said and I cut her off as soon as I processed what she had said.

"Wait, what?" I yelled. "They said nasty things about me?"

She turned red and looked around, trying to think of an answer. "Well, there were some rumors…But it doesn't really matter now, anyways."

"What rumors? Why didn't you tell me this before?!"

"I didn't want to hurt you, Lilly. You were already hurt enough," she said quietly. "It's not going to make any difference whether or not you know them. They were said, and they were out there. But if you go to the party, it says something. That you don't care about the rumors, and that you're better now."

"Fine," I gave in. "But don't expect me to have fun."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: thanks for the LACK of reviews...seriously? two? really guys? not to sound like a bitch, but i'm starting a new thing. at 5 reviews im going to start writing the next chapter, and after 10 reviews (and when i finish it) i'll post it. it's not that hard to review! i get that everyone has finals and big projects and stuff, but even one line is so much better than nothing (:**

**A/N pt 2: Second to last chapter. No connor hate as always. **

Chapter 9

"_It's not going to make any difference whether or not you know the rumors. They were said, and they were out there. But if you go to the party, it says something. That you don't care about the rumors, and that you're better now."_

"_Fine," I gave in. "But don't expect me to have fun."

* * *

_

I walked up Miley's front door and rang the bell. She had told me to meet her there at 7, and that we could walk to the party. Connor was meeting us there a little later, after his shift at the hospital.

"Hey!" She squealed as she opened the door.

I gave her a strange look as we passed through the door, but soon saw the reason for her perkiness.

"Miley!" I silently screamed, drawing her back towards me with her eyes. "What is he doing here?"

"I invited him," she answered, motioning towards Oliver.

"I can't believe I fell for it," I shook my head and started to walk out the door. "Forget your stupid party, I'm going home."

"Wait!" I felt her hand on my arm, pulling me back. "Look, I'm sorry. But you two have been best friends since pre school and you haven't talked in months! I'm only trying to do what's best for you."

"Fine. I'll go to the party. But stop meddling in my life! If we are meant to be friends again, it'll happen," I scolded her. Secretly, I thanked her for trying, something I had been too cowardly to do.

* * *

By the time we got to the beach, most of the guests--including Connor--had already arrived. A bonfire was lit near the ocean, and Connor was standing near it, talking to some of guys.

"Hey," I greeted him with a quick kiss. "How'd you get here so fast?"

"I might have traded shifts," he smiled. "You know Josh and Cam, right?"

"No, not really," I admitted. "Hey."

The two guys smiled at me as Connor and I walked off. "What were you guys talking about?" I asked.

"Lacrosse."

* * *

The party continued uneventfully for the next few hours, except the occasional odd stare I received from some classmates. I guess Miley wasn't lying when she was talking about the rumors.

Connor left to go talk to Josh and Cam some more, and I went to go find Miley. She was sitting on one of the logs near the fire, staring at a guy making out with some girl a few yards away.

"Whose that?" I asked her as I followed her gaze.

"Jake," she sighed. "He's back."

"Wow…" I mused. "That sucks. How are you with it?" I asked, concerned that she still wasn't over him.

"Truthfully?" Terrified," she admitted. "I thought I was over him, but…I don't know. I haven't talked to him yet. I'm just hoping he doesn't hate me."

"Why would he hate you?" I responded.

"I don't know…" she trailed off. "How's the party going for you?"

"Not too bad. Connor's over talking to some guys about lacrosse or something," I explained.

"You know whose not having a good time?" She asked me, and I easily guessed the answer. "Why don't you go talk to him, Lily? He's been sitting down there on the beach for the past hour and a half."

* * *

I slowly approached Oliver, who was sitting alone a way from the party. He was staring at the ocean, and his shoulders were slumped: a man in defeat. It killed me to see him this way.

"Hey," I whispered, sitting down next to him.

He looked up at me, his eyes vacant. "Hey."

I debated what to say next, whether to make small talk or to just dive right in. "Look," I said, deciding on the latter. "I'm so sorry. For everything. I just wish…I just wish things could go back to the way they were, before the accident. I miss you."

"Me too," he agreed, looking out at the water.

"It hasn't been the same without you," I confessed. "It's lonelier," I chuckled, realizing the irony of it all.

"Same here," he agreed again, looking at my face this time. "I'm sorry for everything, too, Lils."

I smiled, yet I could feel tears brimming in my eyes. Leaning my head on his shoulders, I looked out at the ocean and tried to just enjoy being with my best friend again.

Soon, though, he lifted my head up and wiped away a tear. "You're crying," he murmured as we looked at each other for what seemed like hours.

Our heads started to tilt towards the side, slowly moving closer to each other as I closed my eyes. His lips were on mine in a gentle embrace, the first kiss I ever had with Oliver.

_What are you doing? _I screamed in my head. _You have a boyfriend! _But the ecstasy of the moment was too much, the lies of the past months finally unraveled as I admitted to myself that I never had loved Connor the way I loved Oliver.

The voice in my head faded away the longer the moment lasted. Slowly moving my hands through his hair, we pulled closer together until we were almost on top of each other.

It seemed like eternity before it ended, but far too soon. Inhaling the cool night air, I smiled as I realized what had just happened.

Until I opened my eyes to find one heartbroken figure watching from by the fire.

The same heartbroken figure I was supposedly dating.

* * *

**now go click the button below and REVIEW. also, tell me whether you think i should...**

**a) post lily's full list of why she can't date oliver (i have it)**

**b) an epilogue**

**might be easier to answer this question at the end of next chapter but give me your prelim thoughts**

**lastly does anyone have any song suggestions for one of the characters to sing? not to another character, but just at a show? a nice emo, punk pop ish type song? It's not miley whose singing, if that helps. **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Ok so I know I said this would be the last chapter but i lied [: one more. it was going to be, but then...it wasn't. thanks for all the reviews, i would have posted this earlier except it was finals week and i had a lot of studying to do. please review. 10 for final chapter [: and Connor haters, rejoice.**

Chapter 10

_Our heads started to tilt towards the side, slowly moving closer to each other as I closed my eyes. His lips were on mine in a gentle embrace, the first kiss I ever had with Oliver._

What are you doing? _I screamed in my head_. You have a boyfriend!_ But the ecstasy of the moment was too much, the lies of the past months finally unraveled as I admitted to myself that I never had loved Connor the way I loved Oliver. _

_The voice in my head faded away the longer the moment lasted. Slowly moving my hands through his hair, we pulled closer together until we were almost on top of each other. _

_It seemed like eternity before it ended, but far too soon. Inhaling the cool night air, I smiled as I realized what had just happened._

_Until I opened my eyes to find one heartbroken figure watching from by the fire._

_The same heartbroken figure I was supposedly dating. _

A single tear flew down my cheek. This wasn't me; I didn't cheat. I knew what it was like to be the clueless girlfriend. Finally, my wish was granted, but this was never what I had wanted.

I scrambled to get up, to try and fix things with Connor. Oliver grabbed my hand, pulling me down, pleading with me not to go.

"I'm, I'm sorry," I whispered as I choked back more tears. "I have to fix things."

"Lilly," he sighed, staring into my eyes once again. His chocolate brown gaze stopped every thought process in my brain, and all I wanted to do was go back to a few moments ago, before I realized what a mess I had made. "Please."

"I can't," I managed to squeak out.

His eyes dropped to the ground, refusing to meet mine. "I really, really like you, Oliver," I cried. "I just can't do this."

* * *

I ran towards the crowd, looking for Connor. While scanning for him in the crowd, I found the group of guys he had been talking to earlier.

"Hey, have you seen Connor?" I panted. After seeing their concerned looks, I realized what a mess I must have looked like.

"Yeah," one of the guys offered. "He was heading towards the parking lot. I'm pretty sure he has left by now."

Awesome, I thought walking away. So much for dealing with that tonight.

"Lilly!" Miley exclaimed as I walked right back her. I tried to blow her off, but she ran up to me.

"What's wrong?" She asked, concerned about my appearance. "I saw Connor leaving and then you came running out…what happened?" Great. Apparently she saw everything, which means everyone else must have too.

"I really don't want to talk about it now," I grunted, walking towards the parking lot until I realized that I had no ride. "Can you just bring me home?"

"Sure," she said and we hopped into her car.

* * *

Asking Miley for a ride was not a good idea.

Instead of bringing me home, she drove us to one of the ice cream stands. Once we got there, she pulled out the keys, went inside and bought us ice cream, and returned to the car.

"Here," she said, handing me my favorite flavor. "We can leave after you tell me why Connor's so pissed at you."

I took the ice cream in disgust. What did she think she could do, bribe me?

We sat in silence for almost half and hour after we had finished our ice creams, her singing along to the radio as I watched out of the window in pointed silence.

She suddenly turned off the radio and started to talk. "Lilly, come on, just tell me already. I'm your best friend. It can't be that bad."

"I told you, I don't want to talk about it," I repeated, still staring out of her window.

"I noticed that," she remarked sarcastically. "But I'm pretty sure that talking about it will help you, ok? And if you don't want things to end in catastrophe with Connor, I'm pretty sure you don't really have a long time to decide whether or not you want to 'talk about it.'"

I stared out of the window for a few more minutes before finally giving in. "Fine," I sighed. "I cheated on him. Happy?"

Miley sat in shock for a few moments. "You cheated on him? You? After Lucas? You would do that to him?"

"Yes, I cheated on him, Miley," I yelled back at her. "Thanks for helping me feel even more like a bitch that I already do. This is why I didn't want to talk to you about it."

More minutes of awkward silence followed before either of us talked. "I'm sorry," Miley said quietly, starting the car. "I'll bring you home now."

* * *

When we finally reached my house, I didn't want to get out. Now that she knew, I wanted to keep talking about it.

Suddenly, tears started rolling down my cheeks. Everything about tonight had gone wrong, from Oliver to Connor to Miley.

"Oh, Lily!" Miley exclaimed when she saw that I was crying. "I didn't want to make you cry! Come on, why don't you just go inside and you can tell me more about it if you want."

I sat in my pajamas on my bed as I debated whether or not to tell Miley. Finally, one side won out, and I started to explain.

"It's not as bad as you think," I said quietly as Miley crawled up on the bed with me, ready to listen.

"Ok, so tell me about it, then," she egged me on.

"Well, you know how you told me I should try and talk to Oliver?" She nodded her head. "Well, I went to go talk to him. I don't know what happened, but one minute we were just sitting there, and the next…" I trailed off. Miley's mouth opened in shock, unable to comprehend that we had finally gotten together.

I stopped her before she could say anything. "You completely right. And yes, it was amazing. But then, when we stopped, he was watching. His face was shattered. The worst I've ever felt, Miley," I tried explaining.

"So this hasn't happened before?" She asked as I shook my head no. "Well, all I can say is that you have really bad luck."

"Tell me about it," I agreed, and continued on with the rest of the story.

* * *

I awoke the next morning to Miley's obnoxious snoring. Kicking her, I tried to regain memories of why I felt so morose.

Snippets of last night played over in my mind; a kiss, a broken heart, and a resolution. A resolution that I had to talk to Connor, had to break it off. No excuses.

He had agreed to meet me at a Starbucks on the outskirts of the city, equal driving distance for both of us. I threw on a pair of ripped jeans, and headed out to my car, pulling my hair up into a messy bun.

"Shit," I cursed out loud once I saw the time on the dashboard. It was 10:04, and I was supposed to meet him there at 10:15. It was a half an hour drive.

* * *

"I'm really sorry," I apologized, running into the Starbucks. His blank faced refused the effort.

"I woke up late, and then my car didn't have any gas…But that's not exactly no excuses, is it?" I realized as his face grew in annoyance as my rambling continued.

He motioned over to where he had his laptop, and we sat down in an awkward silence for a few moments. I didn't know what to say. His eyes bore into my head, refusing to look away. I couldn't meet his gaze, too ashamed and cowardly.

"Look," I finally started after I couldn't take the silence anymore. "I'm really, really sorry. You don't deserve this, especially after everything you've done for me and what you've been through…" I trailed off. The one sided conversation wasn't made any easier by his apparent lack of human emotion.

"And I just wanted you to know that that was the first time anything every happened--"

"That's not exactly no excuses, is it?" He spat out. Two sided conversations were even worse.

"No, I guess not," I mused. "But if you want to know what happened--" He cut me off again.

"Spare me the details, Lily. I've watched my girlfriend stay be in love with another guy since before we even started our first date. Maybe I'm the rebound guy, maybe I'm the pity case, or maybe I'm the guy to make him jealous. And maybe I should have seen it coming. But at least have the guts to tell me, Lily. So you haven't been going around making out with him behind my back. Doesn't make it any better," He raged. Tears came to my eyes as I royally screwed over the nicest guy I had met in a long time.

"You're right," I swallowed. "I don't know what else to say but sorry. I owe you so much, and if it matters, I did like you." I stood up, bringing the horrendous conversation to a close.

"Maybe someday we can be friends?" I mumbled, turning back to look at him.

He shook his head firmly, and I captured the last live view of Connor I would ever see.

* * *

**now please review! every one counts! [:**


End file.
